Cloverfield was a better example of Gen Y marketing than it was a film – though it isn’t terrible – but the viral campaign and steadfast refusal to discuss anything other then nerd-genius J.J. Abrams involvement stirred up interest, and once the film finally arrived the ‘giant beast’ angle fanned the publicity flames for a few more weeks.

Ka-Ching! 200 MILLION for what is in reality a fair to middling found footage flick with enough jittery camera movement and frenetic dialogue might also have been named ‘Shakey-Scream’.

The film opens in the events leading up to a party – but don’t worry it’s not really about the party, that would be another low key under the radar average yet profitable film called Project X.

The party is underway and everyone mingles and sets to having a good time (*Rob is heading for Japan…!), with a large group of good looking party-goers assembled and the atmosphere is relaxed and friendly (*Man Rob seems kind of upset huh…) a man with a camera weaves among the crowd recording the vibe mainly, with occasional pauses to capture party-goers best wishes for Rob to watch in his new home (*Can you believe Rob and Beth totally did it!?!).

E A R T H Q U A K E . . .

Quick, find a doorway. Stop drop and roll. Spay and neuter your pets. Prevent forest fires. For fuck’s sake, DO SOMETHING!

From this point on things get shakey, noisy, and burst out in snippets… just like they do in the film.

Quick to the roof for a look.

E X P L O S I O N . .

(*That’s no earthquake.) Chaos on the streets of NYC. (*Is that the Statue of Liberty’s head? France will stop giving us presents if we don’t take care of them!)

A glimpse from afar. A trick of the eye? Confusion. (*Well what is it?) Dust. Debris. Shock and distress. (*It was eating people!)

Evacuation. Government assistance/intervention/interference. (*YOU calm down!)

Bridge (taken) out. Convenient TVs leak information. (*Where’s Beth?) Disturbing footage from very nearby action. More soldiers. More uniformed men moving people along…

New York City cleans out quick with appropriate motivation.

Rob and a few remain behind. Subway. Stranded. Away from ‘it’. (*Mum, Jason’s dead.) Others arrive. Not human others. Smaller than ‘it’ others. Belligerent, numerous and aggressive. (*Ummm, people shouldn’t explode should they?)

More running. More hiding. More unwelcome developments. A wonky high rise. (*Beth is in there.) Stairs. Stairs. Stairs. More fucking stairs. (*Beth!)

Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise stops…

(*Now let’s have no more talk about this bizarre cover-up.)

Final Rating – 6.5 / 10. I’m on the fence about Cloverfield. I can find no reason to watch it nor any reason to not watch it. It just exists. Check it out. Don’t check it out. J.J doesn’t care. He’s carefully plotting his next surprise sure fire hit.