Legionnaire (Review)

Sayyyy, nice hat!

Sayyyy, nice hat!

JCVD is a 1920’s fighter paid to take a dive.

Doesn’t.

In the ensuing chase someone accidentally kills the brother of the guy who made the fix, who – as these guys tends to do – goes a little crazy and holds a personal vendetta against JCVD.

So JCVD runs off and joins the French Foreign Legion, which apparently wasn’t as glamorous as the publicists make it out to be, despite the schmoove hats and the natty boots.

Once he joins the Legion JCVD rapidly creates various enemies, some other soldiers, some in positions of authority, and to cap things off some of the criminals from the start of the film sign up in order to get ‘im. To cap things off the unit is continually being attacked by ferocious bands of Turkish fighters, desperate to defend their home turf.

The battle scenes are pretty good, it all looks fairly authentic and even though it is not his forte JCVD has a crack at acting for almost half the film.

1 – Why is he French?

Because he is French. Again, and I think that is the best explanation.

2 – Who is he saving/helping?

Himself, and various fellow soldiers. (To no avail by the way.)

3 – Who is the Bad Guy(s)?

Criminals out to kill him. Bad guys in the Legion. Turks.

4 – Does he do the splits?

Not this time.

5 – Is he shirtless in the film?

Yep.

6 – Does he hold poses after the final punch/kick? (Extra points for slo-mo!)

Again no.

7 – Is the soundtrack full of ‘orrible cheesy toons?

No.

8 – Are there any other recognisable actors in the film?

Only the Commander of the Legion.

9 – Is there a love interest? (Or at least some tit!)

No.

10 – Is the damme thing any damme good?

Only OK.

Verdict – Lacking a lot in entertainment value, this is nonetheless an OK action film.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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