Gee Whiz this screams “80s el-cheapo B movie”.
Shonky acting.
Flimsy plot.
Xena production values (at best).
All the more amazing given that it was written by Kitty Chalmers.
Who? Exactly!
JCVD must help the titular Cyborg lady who happens to hold the cure for a global plague that has thinned the Earth’s population, (and turned the rest into savages) he must escort her to the mythical city of Atlanta.
This is the sort of movie where there are a great many “wait, wait for it…” kicks and punches, and oddly enough I remember a great many scenes of people sharpening knives.
It ticks a lot of the JVCD movie boxes, and oddly enough it is pretty terrible yet still bizarrely watchable, despite a hokey ending.
Oh, and it was quoted on one of the best hip-hop albums of the 90s, Method Man’s Tical 2: Judgement Day.
1 – Why is he French?
Not explained, probably a result of the plague.
2 – Who is he saving/helping?
Just the potential savior of the planet this time.
3 – Who is the Bad Guy(s)?
A crew of Mad Max clones lead by Fender, a gravel-voiced boofhead wearing Bono Fly sunnies.
4 – Does he do the splits?
Yep, probably his best cinematic splits moment too.
5 – Is he shirtless in the film?
Mos def.
6 – Does he hold poses after the final punch/kick? (Extra points for slo-mo!)
Ah huh.
7 – Is the soundtrack full of ‘orrible cheesy toons?
No.
8 – Are there any other recognisable actors in the film?
Not one.
9 – Is there a love interest? (Or at least some tit!)
Yes.
10 – Is the damme thing any damme good?
No but sort of.
Verdict – You know you’re watching a shitty movie but you still keep watching.
