Chronicle (Review)

Jump poorly photo-shopped douches!

Most underdog stories have a quiet and reserved character shedding their perceived flaws inadequacies and rising above the limitations imposed upon them by others to succeed. We feel good for their triumph and satisfaction in their achievements.

Chronicle finds a thoroughly unremarkable young lad and grants him particularly remarkable powers that differentiate him from his peers. We should be happy for the lad, and I would be if it weren’t for the fact that he is such a totally unlikeable lad.

More accurately Andrew is a nerd-ick-illjoy of such grandeur that watching him flourish brings zero joy to proceedings in the same manner as it would if Paris Hilton did a total 180 and became a modest, functioning member of society. Given the crimes against humanity that she has perpetrated in the past she is beyond redemption. Such is the case with Andrew…

At the opening of the film Andrew announces that he has purchased a camera and indicates that he will be rocking it for the duration. Why I don’t know, it adds nothing to proceedings, no ‘found footage’ element or otherwise unavailable angles, the filmmaker watched Cloverfield and such and thought ‘me too’.

I wonder when they take the time to kick back and review the events of the day. Given how many kids feel their existence is boring why would they bother in any case? And do they film themselves while they watch themselves?

Existential questions aside, Andrew, cousin Matt and Steve attend a party near their home, camera in tow of course. In the grounds near the party is a hole. In the hole is a blue/pink thing. The trio enter the hole, touch the blue/pink thing and emerge superheroes.

In the mid-section of the film they learn to harness their newfound abilities, which include mental powers, flight and super strength.

Of course being teens they immediately use their powers for good instead of evil, using it to nab girls, win at beer pong and triumph at talent shows, but they soon learn with great power comes great implausibility…

For as the famed adage goes; ‘Give a nerd a camera and he’ll film for a day, grant him super-abilities and he’ll be… a super nerd?’ Let’s face it you can’t beat a film where two teens argue and one abruptly ends the convo by turning and flying out the window!

As Andrew and co develop their abilities the scope of what they might achieve brings too much temptation, and the powers seem to have adverse influence on their attitude – though with moody teens who knows.

The finale is essentially the same as that of The Incredible Hulk, only with a lot more acne, though I guess some of the super-heroing had moments. It would be far more fun to watch some nice young guys flying, zipping and powering around – guys that deserved it – this is like your mortal enemy getting the best toy in the sandpit and then playing with it right in front of you without sharing.

Final Rating – 6.5 / 10. Chronicle is Super 8 without the exhilaration, Cloverfield with a more human, more boring monster. It’s a coming of age story where no-one comes of age. It’s an OK low budget sci-fi effort I guess, but is that so very laudable?

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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