Monthly Archives: February 2014

Big Ass Spider (Review)

When you call your film Big Ass Spider you set both a tone and a ceiling. First, you better have a big ass spider and a healthy dose of ridiculousness. Second, prospective viewers must set expectations in a range from … Continue reading

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Hell Baby (Review)

When Jack and pregnant wife Vanessa moved to an old fixer upper in lush and exotic New Orleans, they thought they were entering a new phase of adulthood. Little did they know that they would be integral parts of two … Continue reading

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Battleship (Review)

Ordinarily there would be a less than zero chance of me watching a film like Battleship. However a few weeks ago at work a kindly gent took the time to sketch out the film’s plot. He missed my wry grin and … Continue reading

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10,000 BC (Review)

There must be a hundred competent directors working in Hollywood today. I am positive if you gave them a multi-million dollar visual effects budget and told them to make a film set in prehistoric times with mammoths, sabre toothed tigers … Continue reading

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Waterworld (Review)

Al Gore was right. The Earth is awash. Clean water is scarce, dirt is a much valued currency and the few remaining survivors float about, pretty much keeping to themselves. These floating communities have few worries, aside from barnacles, sunstroke, … Continue reading

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Escape Plan (Review)

There’s the old joke about bad films that goes ‘this film wasn’t released. It escaped.’ In the case of Escape Plan, the crime of this film isn’t egregious or especially heinous, but it is such a recidivist that I can’t … Continue reading

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Ultraviolet (Review)

Apparently in the future the only things that survive are lurid, gaudy colours and bad techno. In this unpleasant future a blood disease has rended the population in twain. The diseased outsiders are called ‘hemophagers’, identified by simple tests and … Continue reading

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Red Eye (Review)

Red Eye is a lean and effective 70 minute thriller built around a compelling premise that nonetheless still manages to unwind during a tacky final quarter hour. Lisa (Rachel MacAdams) is a diligent and professional hotel manager taking a red … Continue reading

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Jackie Brown (Review)

With Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction already in his back pocket there was immense anticipation prior to Jackie Brown’s release. Therefore it was a bit of a head scratcher that Tarantino chose to adapt a script rather than write one … Continue reading

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Bill and Ted’s two bodacious capers: An Excellent Adventure and a Bogus Journey

I was a dopey teen for 7 full years. So was my Dad. (Don’t scoff. So was your Dad.) So was my Dad’s Dad’s Dad. It’s just that dopey teenagers look different depending upon the decade that they spend their … Continue reading

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