Category Archives: The 7th Level of Suck

Here are some films that someone thought enough of to throw millions of doomed dollars at, despite the fact that it seems blindingly obvious that they have almost no chance of finding a market. Monkeybone Budget: $75,000,000 Premise: A guy … Continue reading →

It is the deepest point of a pristine pitch black night. The moonlight gleams off the lapping ocean side. The white sand gladly gives way to the weight of every step. There is much activity just up from the beach … Continue reading →

What just Happened? Good question. I just killed a hundred minutes and a similar number of brain cells trying to work it out and I am no closer to the truth than I was before I pressed ‘Play’. The film … Continue reading →

That’s the last straw! I have tried to stick up for Japsanity – and in recent years Canada’s arrival in the low budget exploitation market – but diminishing returns are no longer worth the taking of chances and the wasting … Continue reading →

Clowns are scary, but this film does its darndest to instead surmise that they are merely unfathomably boring. Kent saves his son’s birthday from tragedy when the scheduled clown no-shows, by arriving in full harlequin garb and mugging his way … Continue reading →

Legend has it that the seventh son of a seventh son will arrive to save the land from terror. In modern society couples rarely have more than three kids, let alone seven, so unfortunately the odds of a seventh son … Continue reading →

Mystery Men does for superhero parodies what Galaxy Quest did for sci-fi parodies, namely take a niche that I have the faintest interest in, and over the course of two hours snuff that interest out once and for all. In … Continue reading →

I resent an awful lot of what S.F.W. represents. Most of all I resent the implication that I should find value in a film in which all characters are so patently hateable. Dirty slacker Cliff Spab (Stephen Dorff) and Spoiled … Continue reading →

I have read a couple reviews for Tusk. Some critics seem to have tripped themselves up while scrambling to conjure a point. I read that Kevin Smith was trying to draw parallels with how humanity treats animals. I read that … Continue reading →