Category Archives: The 7th Level of Suck

The worst of the worst. If this counts among your faves then we sir/madam can no longer be internet amigos.

Catwoman (Review)

Oh Catwoman… … Allegedly frumpy but clearly hot Patience Phillips (Halle Berry) worries that she will never get a man. But she has all the stereotypes! She has the sassy best girlfriend and the flamboyant best gay friend. Then everything … Continue reading

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Badges of Fury (Review)

I don’t know where to start or where to begin. Let’s cut to the chase; Final Rating – 3.5 / 10. Awful directing. Awful plot. Awful jokes. Awful fights. Spectacular cleavage… When ‘spectacular cleavage’ isn’t nearly enough to garner a … Continue reading

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Alien Uprising (Review)

It was a good 35 minutes into Alien Uprising and despite clear recollection that I had already seen the title in the credits, I was positive I was watching a different movie. The first half hour has idiots clubbing, a … Continue reading

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Independence Day (Review)

Independence Day was once merely the U.S. national day of celebration. Then, in 1996, it became synonymous with two other things, the birth of Will Smith: Hollywood Superstar, and the death of the credible blockbuster, something we still mourn with … Continue reading

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Lake Placid 2 (Review)

We’ve been over this again and again. If you want to green light a sequel that has no plans beyond replicating the first film, there are some very basic requirements. At least aim to provide some: Laughs Gasps Memorable characters … Continue reading

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An Excruciating Evening with Adam Sandler: Billy Madison / The Waterboy / Big Daddy

  Adam Sandler became famous thanks to Saturday Night Live, in which he often played an angry guy who spoke in strange voices. People found this funny. Hollywood wondered whether they would pay for it. He had a small role … Continue reading

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The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (Or something like that)

Cult film checklist: Let’s see, Buckaroo Banzai is a half Japanese, half American son of genius scientists who assembles a team who travel on a big bus with Buckaroo’s name emblazoned on the side, to go so very fast that … Continue reading

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Hide & Seek (Review)

When his wife suicides respected psychiatrist David Calloway (Robert de Niro) takes his young daughter Emily (Dakota Fanning) far away from the New York pressure cooker environment, to a large house in the middle of nowhere. This new home is … Continue reading

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Army of Frankensteins (Review)

How often do you regret a movie choice before the opening credits have arrived? No bolt of lightning could possibly give life to this atrocious collection of random chunks of ill fitting parts and recycled brainless ideas. Apparently if one … Continue reading

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Hawk the Slayer (Review)

“You’re, gonna laugh. You’re gonna cry.” That’s either a warning that there’s a Keeping up with the Kardashians marathon coming up, or a a cautious endorsement of a film. In the case of Hawk the Slayer, suggestor Gaylord69 is half … Continue reading

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