Category Archives: JCVD

The Quest (Review)

This is a real JCVD cookie cutter crapathon, must’ve taken 11 minutes to write and about the same to make. JCVD is a 35 year old orphan (!) and quasi-leader of a pack of other (yes younger) orphans. (Are you … Continue reading

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Cyborg (Review)

Shonky acting. Flimsy plot. Xena production values (at best). All the more amazing given that it was written by Kitty Chalmers. Who? Exactly! JCVD must help the titular Cyborg lady who happens to hold the cure for a global plague … Continue reading

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Wake of Death (Review)

I hadn’t even heard of this one before the other day, but so far it is one of the better JCVD films going, even if I have absolutely no idea what the title is supposed to mean. JCVD lives in … Continue reading

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In Hell (Review)

Firstly the opening credits look like they were picked on Microsoft Word. Not a good start. So JCVD’s wife is killed, and when the killer gets off without going to jail he takes justice into his own hands and offs … Continue reading

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Legionnaire (Review)

JCVD is a 1920’s fighter paid to take a dive. Doesn’t. In the ensuing chase someone accidentally kills the brother of the guy who made the fix, who – as these guys tends to do – goes a little crazy and … Continue reading

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Replicant (Review)

In this film JCVD is actually a bad guy who is on a one man killing spree. Michael Rooker is leading the investigation crew trying to track him down unsuccessfully for over three years. They have tried to hunt him … Continue reading

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The JCVD Experiment

Jean-Claude Van Damme (JCVD) was the “Perfect Storm” of my late teens, someone who beat numerous odds and overcame obstacles – not least of which was an obvious lack of acting talent – to become a bona fide action star, … Continue reading

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