Category Archives: Crappy Movies

Fifty Shades of Grey (Spoiler-Free Review)

Posted on February 15, 2017 by OGR

They couldn’t be more alike. She is Anastasia (but you can call her Anna), a mousy insecure university student with a sensible cardigan and budget haircut. She can’t finish a sentence without becoming flustered. He is Christian Grey (but you … Continue reading →

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*SPOILERS* Fifty Shades of Grey (Spoiler-filled Protest Review)

Posted on February 15, 2017 by OGR

Obvious spoilers to follow. Man meets woman. They are inexplicably attracted despite no chemistry being evident. Man gives woman an expensive first edition book. She threatens to but does not leave. Man tells woman he is sleazy and depraved. Man … Continue reading →

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Life (Review)

Posted on February 13, 2017 by OGR

Before Kevin Hart there was Martin Lawrence, a man who found the spotlight despite over a decade elapsing without any evidence of his being humorous. In Life he is almost literally shackled to poor Eddie Murphy, who spends almost the … Continue reading →

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The Taking of Pelham 123 (Review)

Posted on January 31, 2017 by OGR

Pelham 123 is a train. It is taken by a group of bad guys led by Ryder (John Travolta) with the aim of… I can’t remember. Money was involved. Then there was some political hubbub. Then some issues arose from … Continue reading →

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Gang Related (Review)

Posted on January 30, 2017 by OGR

Frank (James Belushi) and Rodriguez (Tupac Shakur) are dirty cops. They kill criminals and keep the money, writing each incident off as… … Dramatic pause… … Gang Related! … Problems arise when one such murder ends with an undercover cop … Continue reading →

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Worry Dolls (Review)

Posted on January 27, 2017 by OGR

A young girl awakens. Confused. Gagged and bound to rusty pipes in a dingy room. She is already bloodied and bruised, but she has energy and strength borne of panic and self preservation. … A man appears brandishing a large … Continue reading →

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Elektra (Review)

Posted on January 24, 2017 by OGR

A ninja assassin for hire. An expert at stealth and killing silently. A master of remaining undetected, despite her attire of choice being a bright red leather sports bra with matching tight pants, that must have squeaked like buggery while … Continue reading →

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Lady in the Water (Review)

Posted on January 17, 2017 by OGR

So get this; there are beings that live in the water. Friendly beings. Beings who were once good friends with humans. Then, probably distracted by the release of a new iPhone, humanity fell out of touch with these beings. Sad … Continue reading →

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Miami Blues (Review)

Posted on January 16, 2017 by OGR

Thanks Miami Blues. Prior to this film I foolishly allowed myself to become bored by ridiculous plots and dull action. Somewhere during the drab 97 minute running time I started wondering if this was all so stale because it was … Continue reading →

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Southern Comfort (Review)

Posted on January 9, 2017 by OGR

The Louisiana home guard head into the swamps for a march in full kit through rough and uncharted terrain. A quick short cut to save time sees the nine men run afoul of a small settlement of Cajun trappers. While … Continue reading →

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