Category Archives: Crappy Movies

Gang Related (Review)

Frank (James Belushi) and Rodriguez (Tupac Shakur) are dirty cops. They kill criminals and keep the money, writing each incident off as… … Dramatic pause… … Gang Related! … Problems arise when one such murder ends with an undercover cop … Continue reading

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Worry Dolls (Review)

A young girl awakens. Confused. Gagged and bound to rusty pipes in a dingy room. She is already bloodied and bruised, but she has energy and strength borne of panic and self preservation. … A man appears brandishing a large … Continue reading

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Elektra (Review)

A ninja assassin for hire. An expert at stealth and killing silently. A master of remaining undetected, despite her attire of choice being a bright red leather sports bra with matching tight pants, that must have squeaked like buggery while … Continue reading

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Lady in the Water (Review)

So get this; there are beings that live in the water. Friendly beings. Beings who were once good friends with humans. Then, probably distracted by the release of a new iPhone, humanity fell out of touch with these beings. Sad … Continue reading

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Miami Blues (Review)

Thanks Miami Blues. Prior to this film I foolishly allowed myself to become bored by ridiculous plots and dull action. Somewhere during the drab 97 minute running time I started wondering if this was all so stale because it was … Continue reading

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Southern Comfort (Review)

The Louisiana home guard head into the swamps for a march in full kit through rough and uncharted terrain. A quick short cut to save time sees the nine men run afoul of a small settlement of Cajun trappers. While … Continue reading

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Precious Cargo (Review)

I watched this only for Bruce Willis. Bruce is Marcellus Wallace now. An older gentleman who directs others, remaining removed from the hurly burly. In this dire effort Bruce is Eddie, a crime boss keeping a couple wet behind the … Continue reading

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The Mechanic 2 (Review)

With sequels to low budget unexpected successes – even modest ones – there are two ways to go; you can continue full throttle with a bigger budget and hopefully snag a big name co-star to go alongside the headliner from … Continue reading

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Corky Romano (Review)

While trawling the IMDb trivia in a desperate attempt to distract myself from the unfunniness onscreen, I was not at all surprised to learn that Corky Romano was written, produced and filmed in a matter of months to avoid the … Continue reading

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Home Alone (Review)

I never noticed as a youth but Kevin (Macauley Culkin) is an obnoxious ill mannered child in an entirely obnoxious and ill mannered family. Even the extended family of cousins, aunts and uncles are uniformly vile. So it is understandably … Continue reading

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